Ostaja v meni kot neka vsespoštljiva veličastna gospa. Ne pozna usmiljenja, včasih se sprašujem, če sploh ima meje. Vedno vzpodbuja, v trenutku, ko si prepričan, da tako ne bo šlo več, te porine naprej. Najbrž skrita počiva v svojem kotu, zdi se kot da spi, v resnici je vedno na preži, eno oko na pol priprto, uhlji našpičeni, čaka kot pes stražar, da se požene na plano. Trenutki, ko zazna, da se bo treba pognati iz skritega prebivališča, so najhujši. Ne požene se takoj. Mirno čaka, da popolnoma omagaš. Potem pa kar naenkrat veličasten dogodek, ko začutiš, da nisi več sam, ne otipaš je, ne vidiš je, preprosto občutiš njeno bližino, zaslišiš odločen glas, ki bobni v glavi. Mučenje prehaja v olajšanje, ekstazo, občutek otrplosti, ko ne čutiš ničesar več, ne veš iz katerega delca telesa še črpaš atome moči. Z njeno pomočjo, se doseže še tako navidez nedosegljiv cilj, samo dovolj močno je treba verjeti v Njo. Nepopisno veselje, ko presežeš samega sebe in priplezaš do stopnice, na katero si želel stopiti. Takrat trma odide. Nikoli ni časa, da bi si ji zahvalil. Izgine kot je prišla.
Potem se povrne občutek, ki ga doživljaš tik preden trma doprispe do tebe. Realna tla. Bolečina. Vendar veselje ostaja.
Kaj sploh je Božič? Kaj danes sploh delamo za Božič? Žalostno, da se je namen Božiča nekoliko razgubil, mlajši najbrž sploh ne vejo zakaj se Božič praznuje, da je to čas, ki ga preživimo s svojimi najljubšimi, pozabimo na slabe stvari in v mislih obdržimo le najlepše.
Letos sem doživel Božič v pravem pomenu besede. Z znancem, ki sva si bila navzkriž, sem zopet spregovoril in pobotal. In to brez pomoči Coca-Cole. Hvala ti Božič.
Kot vsako leto, ko je treba napisati kakšno čestitko za Božič in novo leto, sem bil tudi letos v dvomih, s kakšno začetnico se že piše Božič. Veliko ali majhno? Prijateljica, ki v gimnazijskih klopeh še pridno obiskuje pouk slovenščine mi je predlagala, da uporabim veliko začetnico (zato sedaj tudi uporabljam to verzijo zapisa). Pravilno pa je recimo da oboje (klik).
I like them. We are friends. Always we meet we laugh, we talk as we are friends since ever. I do not know them by name, what they are doing, or if they have families. Sometimes they are walking in groups, sometime in pairs or alone, some are faster, some slower, but when we met we are all the same.
Pred, za in med mano je očitno plodovito obdobje. Pšenica, koruza, krompir, ideje kar vrejo iz mene.
Zapisujem si jih. Hitro. Ideja za gledališko predstavo, ideje za fotkanje, tukaj je še ideja za koncert pa za film, kaj če bi naredili še mjuzikal pa seminarsko nalogo pri Tiskarskih postopkih in Informacijskih tehnologijah. Pišem, rišem, črtam. Aaa. Za znoret. Norim. Ampak mi je všeč. Zelo všeč. Rad delam to.
Grem pisat naprej. Nikoli ne veš kdaj pride nazaj sušna doba. Doba, ko jezik ne laufa, doba ko beseda ne teče, pisalo noče pisat. Tako, da res treba izkoristiti dokler traja. Izkoriščam.
Moj nekako prvi post v slovenščini na tem blogu. Rad pišem v slovenščini. Ne me spraševat, zakaj torej ponavadi pišem v angleščini. Me boste to vprašali raje potem, ko bom napisal še kaj v nemščini.
When I was opening my blog I was thinking about my identity. With a friend that opened blog at the same time, we were both opinion we should just write, at the end who is writing is not so important, more important is about what you are writing.
So I chose to be Sui. Sui Generis. I found this nickname browsing on Internet (yes, google can be fun stuff, if you have to much time :)), it is a Latin word for "of its own kind," used to describe something that is unique or different. People like James Dean or Marilyn Monroe were called as a Sui Generis. Well I am not like them. I am me.
There is only one me in this world. So that is kind of a unique and special like everyone is for it self.
Also representing with Sui nick to others changed my opinion about is not important who is behind the name. Is like you are a complete stranger. Stranger to a people you know and also people you do not know. And it takes some time to get a trust again.
Can say I have wonderful example, taken from my real life. I had opportunity to be someone else. No one knew me anymore. Well it was still me in inside, but outside I was big blue happy thing :). One of the top and wonderful experiences in list what I have done. I got offer if I want to be mascot of a AS company on WKC competition, where AS was one of the sponsors. My job was to be around with kids and to share sweets with them. Soon I was out of them. I figurate out my work is not just to be with kids. It was more. First kids were afraid of a big blue elephant. It was not only kids. It was most of the people, also friends that did not know who is under costume. They saw me for the first time. I was stranger to them. It took some time they encourage to touch the costume, shake hands with me and when they got candy in their little hands, they were the happiest kids in the world. All this smiles and happy faces. For second day of my work, there were all the time full of kids around me, waving at me, hugging me, taking pictures with me, not scared anymore. We became friends. I was not stranger anymore. Kids thought I am real elephant. Kids from all over the world. That was amazing. Two girls came to me and asked me if I have some elephant friends, well I was the only elephant there, so the answer was no and they asked if they can be my friends ... It was sad when I changed clothes and became suddenly me. Kids did not recognized me anymore, they were asking where elephant is now ...
Everyone is something special, why we should hide. I like to be an elephant, but usually, in real life I am just me.
I am sitting and there is a list infront of me. List what to do. Damm is so full. I am not well organised. Why I haven´t done some of this things yesterday. Or they before yesterday. Well maybe tomorrow there will not be need anymore to so some of this things :). But I doubt so. I am always talking to myself I will be more organised. How I will do everything on time, how I will learn everyday and so on. But there is to much ideas goin´ through my mind everyday and is true there is also to much distractions around in a shape of people, different computer programs and webpages :). That can be pretty annoying sometimes :).
So I will do a list, what I want to do. Or what I have not forget to do :). Or what I think is worth to do. And new crazy idea I come after will also find spot on it. So here is the list:
- jump with parachute - bungee jumping - journey around whole world - taste all world beer, chocolate and ice cream brands